The screening room at Paramount was nearly full when I got there. Several hundred people had shown up to see Director X’s new film, and more than a few of them were my patients.
A well-known, nympho talent agent was seated near the front, in a low-cut blouse, and she motioned for me come sit beside her. In her lap was a divinely inspired, quilted, black, buttery leather handbag with a detachable cross-body strap and silver ID frame. It could only be Chanel. My daughter, I thought to myself, would adore that. (My little Meryl is very sophisticated for a four year-old.)
“Charles, darling!” cried the nympho agent, “I heard you were coming. I’m dying to see what this new film is about. I hear it’s a departure from this guy’s standard, commercial fare! I’ve never understood the appeal of this man's films!”
“And I’ve never understood the appeal of Christian Lacroix,” I said, gazing at her shoes.
“What?” said the agent. “Oh, these silly things? I wore them for a lark. Aren’t they too perfect?” She leaned her knees from side to side so that the black satin, vulgarly jeweled shoes would shimmer.
“Three and a half-inch heels and double ankle straps are perfect if you‘re going to the Hookers’ Ball,” I suggested, helpfully.
She set her hand on my knee. “Darling, anywhere I go is the Hookers’ Ball!”
Director X had stepped onstage and was introducing his film. “This movie,” he said, “is a little different from my others. In this film I examine the inner workings of my own mind. And I have to say, I’ve been helped in this process by my acupuncturist and consigliore, Charles.”
Several heads turned toward me and there was a smattering of applause, which I found embarrassing.
“One day,” he continued, “I was feeling very sad, and Charles said these words to me, which I’ll never forget: ‘The only real problem is, you’re a poem.’ A poem! We’ll, I thought about that and..”
A poem? Had I told him he was a poem? I didn’t remember that. But then, I’ve told lots of people they’re a poem. It’s just a thing I say during a session, a handy space filler.
Hello, you’re a poem, how’s your hemorrhoids?
The talent agent nudged me. "Charles, darling,” she said, “you told me I was a poem.”
“I did?” I said, as the lentils stirred in my gut. “Are you sure about that?”
“Of course I’m sure,” she said, sticking out her lower lip. “And I thought that you meant it.”
“Well I did,” I said, suppressing a belch.
“Then how come you told him he’s a poem?”
I was getting nauseous and didn’t feel like arguing.
2011年5月29日星期日
2011年5月25日星期三
Dr. Gott Fighting constipation
Dear Dr. Gott: I was so happy to see your colon-cocktail ingredients in print, as I have a real problem with constipation. Do you have other ways to stop this annoyance?
Dear Reader: The gastrointestinal tract slows as we age, with dietary and lifestyle changes often being to blame. For example, it is often far easier to eat a frozen dinner or a prepared meal that may be nutritious but that may lack the necessary fiber to keep you regular. Or your previous, faster pace of daily living might be slowed, so you don’t exercise as much as you once did. Both scenarios can lead to constipation. Perhaps a diet that includes fruits and vegetables, whole grains and unprocessed bran, an increase in the amount of fluids you consume daily and moderate exercise will get you back on track quickly. Try to consume between 20 and 35 grams of fiber each day, but begin slowly. You may find a piece of fruit each day is sufficient to keep you regular. To overdo it too quickly is to turn constipation into diarrhea, and you don’t want that to happen. Be sure to avoid foods high in sugar and fat, such as ice cream and cheese, that can aggravate constipation.
Be sure to take sufficient time when you feel the urge to defecate. Being rushed and thinking you may be forced to strain will definitely have a negative impact on the result. The longer you delay, the more water will be absorbed from your stool, and the harder it becomes.
If your problem persists, visit your physician or a gastroenterologist to ensure nothing else, such as a blockage, is going on. Have you had any testing along those lines? For example, noninvasive procedures are available to determine how well food passes through the digestive system. You might choose to speak with your physician about them.
While you don’t mention any medical issues in your brief letter, you could have undiagnosed irritable bowel syndrome, might be overusing laxatives, have diverticulosis, be on specific medications such as those to combat hypertension and depression, or you may have hypothyroidism or hemorrhoids. The possibilities are almost limitless.
For the record, my colon cocktail may take up to two weeks to become fully effective, so you might wish to do it on a permanent basis. Beyond that, consider drinking 4 ounces of warm prune or apple juice daily. You also might do well with a simple stool softener, fiber supplement or an osmotic to help fluids move through your colon. There are several over-the-counter products such as magnesium citrate that might do the trick. I’m sure that your local pharmacy will have a large supply from which to choose. You might even ask your pharmacist his or her opinion regarding which product might meet your needs best.
Avoid using laxatives on a regular basis. Habitual use of them can cause the colon to become dependent. As with any drug, even over-the-counter ones, their use can involve increasing the dosage time after time until the colon relies completely on an outside source to allow it to function. Laxatives should be taken only under a physician’s supervision.
Dear Reader: The gastrointestinal tract slows as we age, with dietary and lifestyle changes often being to blame. For example, it is often far easier to eat a frozen dinner or a prepared meal that may be nutritious but that may lack the necessary fiber to keep you regular. Or your previous, faster pace of daily living might be slowed, so you don’t exercise as much as you once did. Both scenarios can lead to constipation. Perhaps a diet that includes fruits and vegetables, whole grains and unprocessed bran, an increase in the amount of fluids you consume daily and moderate exercise will get you back on track quickly. Try to consume between 20 and 35 grams of fiber each day, but begin slowly. You may find a piece of fruit each day is sufficient to keep you regular. To overdo it too quickly is to turn constipation into diarrhea, and you don’t want that to happen. Be sure to avoid foods high in sugar and fat, such as ice cream and cheese, that can aggravate constipation.
Be sure to take sufficient time when you feel the urge to defecate. Being rushed and thinking you may be forced to strain will definitely have a negative impact on the result. The longer you delay, the more water will be absorbed from your stool, and the harder it becomes.
If your problem persists, visit your physician or a gastroenterologist to ensure nothing else, such as a blockage, is going on. Have you had any testing along those lines? For example, noninvasive procedures are available to determine how well food passes through the digestive system. You might choose to speak with your physician about them.
While you don’t mention any medical issues in your brief letter, you could have undiagnosed irritable bowel syndrome, might be overusing laxatives, have diverticulosis, be on specific medications such as those to combat hypertension and depression, or you may have hypothyroidism or hemorrhoids. The possibilities are almost limitless.
For the record, my colon cocktail may take up to two weeks to become fully effective, so you might wish to do it on a permanent basis. Beyond that, consider drinking 4 ounces of warm prune or apple juice daily. You also might do well with a simple stool softener, fiber supplement or an osmotic to help fluids move through your colon. There are several over-the-counter products such as magnesium citrate that might do the trick. I’m sure that your local pharmacy will have a large supply from which to choose. You might even ask your pharmacist his or her opinion regarding which product might meet your needs best.
Avoid using laxatives on a regular basis. Habitual use of them can cause the colon to become dependent. As with any drug, even over-the-counter ones, their use can involve increasing the dosage time after time until the colon relies completely on an outside source to allow it to function. Laxatives should be taken only under a physician’s supervision.
Dr. Christine Anderson, Pediatric-Chiropractor
Women who exercise during pregnancy enjoy many benefits. They have more energy, less mood swings, better stress management and more restful sleep than sedentary pregnant women. James F. Clapp III, professor of reproductive biology at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, concluded from many studies that "moderate exercise during pregnancy leads to better weight regulation and fewer backaches and other discomforts." He also found that women who exercised during pregnancy had shorter, easier labors (decreased by an average of 2 hours), less medical interventions (24% less cesareans and 14% reduced use of forceps), and a faster recovery. The babies' Apgar scores (a predictor of baby's health and survival) were generally higher in the exercising mothers.
In 1996, Clapp wrote in the Journal of Pediatrics that pregnant women who exercise gain 21% less weight and have babies who are leaner and have less percentage of fat, albeit, larger and healthier than the babies of sedentary mothers. They also tend to be smarter! Clapp also noted that 80% of the exercising women gave birth on or before their due date; there was also less of a need for interventions such as induced labor or epidurals in these women.
Expectant mothers needn't worry that exercising will hurt their baby. Clapp found that exercise doesn't cause an increase in spontaneous abortion, premature birth, or birth defects. There is nothing to prove that a slight increase in body temperature causes problems. Physically fit women actually have a lower core temperature and a better ability to regulate body temperature.
Although most pregnant women can and should exercise, it is necessary to discuss with your health care practitioner any limitations you might have. Women who have cardio-vascular disease, high blood pressure, vaginal bleeding, thyroid disease, fetal complications, diabetes, anemia, sickle cell anemia, twins or abnormal presentation of fetus, or who are underweight should exercise only under careful supervision of their health care provider.
Women who habitually exercise can continue with their pre-pregnancy routine, with some modifications to allow for the physiological changes, which occur during pregnancy. Pregnant women should decrease the intensity and duration of their workouts as lung capacity decreases and respiration rate increases, which can make you breathless. Too strenuous exercise may cause you to become lightheaded, shifting blood away from the uterus. Studies have concluded that the fetal heart rate is not affected when the maternal heart rate is kept under 140 to 150 beats per minute. Metabolism increases with pregnancy and exercise causes a further increase, which can lead to low blood sugar, if too vigorous.
The musculoskeletal system undergoes extensive changes as a result of circulating hormones. Estrogen relaxes the joint capsules, allowing for more movement of the joints, including the sacroiliac joints of the pelvis. This "relaxation" of the joints is important to facilitate childbirth by opening up the pelvic outlet. Excess joint motion, however, can lead to sprains and strains.
There are also biomechanical stressors which are placed on the spine and pelvis. As the baby grows, the center of gravity shifts and the low back curve increases. A spinal evaluation by a chiropractor Board Certified in Chiropractic Pediatrics and Pregnancy (DICCP) is important to ensure that there are no misalignments, or subluxations. Gentle correction of any detected subluxations will help prevent sprains and strains from occurring and help relieve low back and leg pain which may keep you from exercising.
It is best for women who are not active and are thinking of getting pregnant to begin an exercise prior to conception. It's never too late, however, even if the baby's already on the way. Walking is one of the best exercises around! The only equipment you need is a supportive bra, a pair of walking shoes, and some fresh air! Start off with an easy pace and gradually walk faster and farther daily, as you build up stamina.
Pregnant women may also safely exercise using stationary bicycles, swimming, water aerobics, yoga and low impact aerobic classes specifically designed for pregnant women. Prenatal aerobic and yoga classes are wonderful because you are able to interact with other mothers to be who are going through all the same processes you are- emotionally and physically. It's hard to get empathy from the buff teenager next to you at a power step class! Prenatal exercise videotapes can also be used if you're unable to get to a gym or in inclimate weather.
In 1996, Clapp wrote in the Journal of Pediatrics that pregnant women who exercise gain 21% less weight and have babies who are leaner and have less percentage of fat, albeit, larger and healthier than the babies of sedentary mothers. They also tend to be smarter! Clapp also noted that 80% of the exercising women gave birth on or before their due date; there was also less of a need for interventions such as induced labor or epidurals in these women.
Expectant mothers needn't worry that exercising will hurt their baby. Clapp found that exercise doesn't cause an increase in spontaneous abortion, premature birth, or birth defects. There is nothing to prove that a slight increase in body temperature causes problems. Physically fit women actually have a lower core temperature and a better ability to regulate body temperature.
Although most pregnant women can and should exercise, it is necessary to discuss with your health care practitioner any limitations you might have. Women who have cardio-vascular disease, high blood pressure, vaginal bleeding, thyroid disease, fetal complications, diabetes, anemia, sickle cell anemia, twins or abnormal presentation of fetus, or who are underweight should exercise only under careful supervision of their health care provider.
Women who habitually exercise can continue with their pre-pregnancy routine, with some modifications to allow for the physiological changes, which occur during pregnancy. Pregnant women should decrease the intensity and duration of their workouts as lung capacity decreases and respiration rate increases, which can make you breathless. Too strenuous exercise may cause you to become lightheaded, shifting blood away from the uterus. Studies have concluded that the fetal heart rate is not affected when the maternal heart rate is kept under 140 to 150 beats per minute. Metabolism increases with pregnancy and exercise causes a further increase, which can lead to low blood sugar, if too vigorous.
The musculoskeletal system undergoes extensive changes as a result of circulating hormones. Estrogen relaxes the joint capsules, allowing for more movement of the joints, including the sacroiliac joints of the pelvis. This "relaxation" of the joints is important to facilitate childbirth by opening up the pelvic outlet. Excess joint motion, however, can lead to sprains and strains.
There are also biomechanical stressors which are placed on the spine and pelvis. As the baby grows, the center of gravity shifts and the low back curve increases. A spinal evaluation by a chiropractor Board Certified in Chiropractic Pediatrics and Pregnancy (DICCP) is important to ensure that there are no misalignments, or subluxations. Gentle correction of any detected subluxations will help prevent sprains and strains from occurring and help relieve low back and leg pain which may keep you from exercising.
It is best for women who are not active and are thinking of getting pregnant to begin an exercise prior to conception. It's never too late, however, even if the baby's already on the way. Walking is one of the best exercises around! The only equipment you need is a supportive bra, a pair of walking shoes, and some fresh air! Start off with an easy pace and gradually walk faster and farther daily, as you build up stamina.
Pregnant women may also safely exercise using stationary bicycles, swimming, water aerobics, yoga and low impact aerobic classes specifically designed for pregnant women. Prenatal aerobic and yoga classes are wonderful because you are able to interact with other mothers to be who are going through all the same processes you are- emotionally and physically. It's hard to get empathy from the buff teenager next to you at a power step class! Prenatal exercise videotapes can also be used if you're unable to get to a gym or in inclimate weather.
2011年5月22日星期日
Celebrating Linotype, 125 Years Since Its Debut
To embark on Linotype was to embark on greatness. Linotype machines powered newspapers, factories, a whole industry that was as American as any and existed for a century, at least until the tides of technology wiped it out as an occupation in the 1960s and 1970s -- and now, Linotype is nearly extinguished from American memory. Yet Thomas Edison, it's said, called the machine the Eighth Wonder of the World (no faint praise from the man who invented the light bulb). This fabled technology, this wonder, once occupied the imagination of countless people in our nation's past.
The summer of 2011 marks 125 years since the Linotype machine's innovation entered the newspaper world -- the New York Tribune first integrated the machine into its operations in July 1886. Before its invention and implementation, no newspaper could easily run longer than a few brief pages, and this new way of producing text marked a radical evolution in the history of printing and typography. Linotype dominated for nearly a hundred years, and it's time to revisit the machine's origins.
A German immigrant named Ottmar Mergenthaler invented it in the 1880s and continued to promote and expand its use until dying in Baltimore in 1899. The Linotype's power involved transferring a line of text (typed with meticulous care by a Linotypist onto a special 90-key keyboard) to a sheet, creating a "line o' type" that could be rapidly printed onto many subsequent pages, thanks to the genius of matrices and hot metal.
A massive legion of dexterous Linotypists quickly rose up, their responsibility to type out the finished newspaper text in order to allow for quick, relatively easy printing. By 1895, London newspaper proprietors assembled to form an association of the new typesetters. Their ranks swelled throughout the 20th century, with 25,000 of the machines in use by 1911 and 33,000 by 1916, according to The Linotype Bulletin (yes, seriously) and a "complete and practical treatise" on the Linotype written in those respective years. People began to appreciate the industry as its own institution within journalism. In 1929, a Boy Scout visited a newspaper plant to earn his Journalism Merit Badge and called the Linotype "one of the three wonders of the modern newspaper plant," spending several paragraphs explaining the process. Four decades later, by 1954, the number of Linotype machines in operation swelled to 100,000. The invention had become a critical part of producing newspapers, ads, books and more.
Furthermore, typesetters' wages were "relatively prosperous" in mid-century America, according to a Linotypist's long account in a 1979 issue of Texas Monthly. As interesting as the profile itself happens to be, little can match the punch of the subhead: They travel from town to town. They drink hard, they work hard, they are dedicated to their craft. They're typesetters. Oh yes they are. The author of the piece, Pat Hathcock, later adds, "Typesetters have always been drinkers. Benjamin Franklin mentioned it. Thorstein Veblen mentioned it. My wives even mentioned it." Those practicing Linotype even acted as unauthorized editors of the newspapers, apparently, according to a 1972 New York article, a reflection of their spontaneous character. "With me, if [the Linotypists] don't like what I'm writing, they change my opinions," a writer for the Yiddish paper The Forward explained to a colleague who had noticed a spelling change in one of his articles.
The summer of 2011 marks 125 years since the Linotype machine's innovation entered the newspaper world -- the New York Tribune first integrated the machine into its operations in July 1886. Before its invention and implementation, no newspaper could easily run longer than a few brief pages, and this new way of producing text marked a radical evolution in the history of printing and typography. Linotype dominated for nearly a hundred years, and it's time to revisit the machine's origins.
A German immigrant named Ottmar Mergenthaler invented it in the 1880s and continued to promote and expand its use until dying in Baltimore in 1899. The Linotype's power involved transferring a line of text (typed with meticulous care by a Linotypist onto a special 90-key keyboard) to a sheet, creating a "line o' type" that could be rapidly printed onto many subsequent pages, thanks to the genius of matrices and hot metal.
A massive legion of dexterous Linotypists quickly rose up, their responsibility to type out the finished newspaper text in order to allow for quick, relatively easy printing. By 1895, London newspaper proprietors assembled to form an association of the new typesetters. Their ranks swelled throughout the 20th century, with 25,000 of the machines in use by 1911 and 33,000 by 1916, according to The Linotype Bulletin (yes, seriously) and a "complete and practical treatise" on the Linotype written in those respective years. People began to appreciate the industry as its own institution within journalism. In 1929, a Boy Scout visited a newspaper plant to earn his Journalism Merit Badge and called the Linotype "one of the three wonders of the modern newspaper plant," spending several paragraphs explaining the process. Four decades later, by 1954, the number of Linotype machines in operation swelled to 100,000. The invention had become a critical part of producing newspapers, ads, books and more.
Furthermore, typesetters' wages were "relatively prosperous" in mid-century America, according to a Linotypist's long account in a 1979 issue of Texas Monthly. As interesting as the profile itself happens to be, little can match the punch of the subhead: They travel from town to town. They drink hard, they work hard, they are dedicated to their craft. They're typesetters. Oh yes they are. The author of the piece, Pat Hathcock, later adds, "Typesetters have always been drinkers. Benjamin Franklin mentioned it. Thorstein Veblen mentioned it. My wives even mentioned it." Those practicing Linotype even acted as unauthorized editors of the newspapers, apparently, according to a 1972 New York article, a reflection of their spontaneous character. "With me, if [the Linotypists] don't like what I'm writing, they change my opinions," a writer for the Yiddish paper The Forward explained to a colleague who had noticed a spelling change in one of his articles.
2011年5月18日星期三
Postcards from the ‘Jing: I Heart Old People
I got a little feedback from friends about my last post, and it seems the general consensus was it was pretty nasty. So this time I decided to lighten it up a little by telling you about my love for old Chinese folks.
Like many countries in this crazy mixed-up world of ours, China’s old folks seem to get mad respect. They are probably the only people in Beijing whom others will give up a seat on the metro for, and that says a lot.
But don’t get me wrong, they know how to give you a good glare that says, “Look at me bitches, I’m old! Give me a damn seat!” They also know the power of a good shove when it’s necessary on public transportation. They’re a lot stronger than they look!
The latest Chinese census from 2010 says more people are growing old in China. This is evidenced by the fact that everywhere I go, there’s an old man or woman walking quietly or just chilling out on the nearest stoop. In the past I’ve written about the dancing grannies at night, people who love their doggies, and the goings-on at my local park like ballroom dancing. Well in all these cases one thing remains consistent -– there is always an old person in the picture.
Here in China there is no Florida or Arizona to retire to, so people tend to stay put and rely on their kid or a small pension to help them through their golden years. And they don’t have 250 TV channels of entertainment to choose from like my 90-something grandmother has back home, so most people are outside in the warmer months just hanging out. Plus, in a society obsessed with mind/body health, it wouldn’t surprise me if they believed too much TV contributes to lots of health hazards…something we Americans may not have caught on to just yet.
I often find myself smiling when I see old people and the things they do. Just yesterday I spotted an older guy who cracked me up. It was about 4 in the afternoon and he was crossing the main road near my home – in his pajamas! This isn’t something you see very often, except if you’re hanging out in a hutong (the old-skool style buildings where the real Beijingers live), because they use shared public toilets to pee (no plumbing at home) and it’s not uncommon to see people in their jammies heading to the toilet – but that’s usually at night!
No, this guy yesterday was just crossing the street in the middle of the day in his pajamas. What does he care? Though part of me wonders if he didn’t just think he was cleverly coordinated in his clothing choice and didn’t know he was wearing pajamas, because over here that is entirely possible. I put it in the same category as jogging on a treadmill in a business suit.
As I mentioned before, old folks like to treat their dogs like the baby they once had earlier in life. So, in their later years, a lot of them like to chill out with their pets. There’s one guy who I see every Saturday morning near a local McDonald’s. He’s not really doing anything, just stands there smoking a cigarette while his little fluffy pup lays down on the ground and chills out. They’re like two peas in a pod without a care in the world. I love this guy.
Then there are the folks who want to make an easy buck in retirement. Just because they stopped working a 9-5 doesn’t mean they’re done for good. Some of them set up shop on the streets to sell random jewelry or a few books they put on display on a little sheet on the ground. The other day I saw an old man perched on a little stool selling shoe insoles. (Check out his hot pink socks by the way… oh baby.) But for some reason I can’t figure out, insoles are very popular street items. Then again, if I recall the rank conditions of last summer, our shoes really do need a break from excessive foot sweat.
Then there are the groups of men or women who sit out along the sidewalk to chat and watch the world go by. They’re so cute!
When I see these folks, I can just imagine what they’re saying to each other. So I dreamed up a conversation for them, which goes something like this:
“Hey, Zhang Fang! How’s it going?”
“Hi Zhen Yang. My hemorrhoids are killing me.”
“Oh yeah, I had ‘roids a few years ago, but I got some good meds for it. I might still have that cream at home, which you have to apply directly to your ass. It tingles at first. You want to borrow it? It smells like shit – no pun intended, ha ha! – but it works!”
“Sure, that would be great. Hey, how’s your grandson?”
“Oh he’s great. I took him over to Ritan Park the other day. He took a huge crap on the lawn but it wasn’t messy. He’s definitely over his diarrhea problem – I think the lotus root helped.”
“That’s good to hear. Hey, you up for some mahjongg later?”
“Nah, I’m playing cards with Zhang Min.”
“Biatch.”
Believe it or not, even though Beijing is a massive capital city, the locals still aren’t used to seeing a foreigner out and about, especially a blond. Sometimes when I’m out and about, an old person will strike up a small conversation with me. This happened a few weeks back, when a nice old lady spotted me nearby and seemed intrigued by what I was doing in China. She asked me the usual line of questions – where am I from? Do I teach English or work? Luckily I understood what she was saying in Chinese. But the funny thing about this lady is she had a very thick Beijing accent, which is characterized by a lot of “R” sounds in her speech. To my ear it sounded like this: “Zunmuh yarrr? Arrarrrrar? Rar! Rararrrrararrr!” Maybe this isn’t funny to you, but imagine talking to a cute old southern American lady who has a deep drawl. Cute, no? I re-enacted this Beijing lady’s accent for a fellow expat and we had a bit of a chuckle, because we all know how humorous this local accent can be.
Then there’s the cute old man at work who was shocked and awed when I made my debut at the company canteen. One of the perks of my job is a free lunch at the staff lunchroom where you eat some pretty decent food from a buffet. On one of my first days at work, I was the only foreigner having lunch in a sea of Chinese people. Naturally, I stuck out like a sore thumb because no foreigners ever ate in there before. I was looking around the room where a few hundred people were sitting and eating, when I caught a curious gaze from an old man.
He had to be at least 75 and when he spotted me he sat up, did a double-take, and looked at me with wide eyes and big bushy white raised eyebrows. It was like he was saying, “What the…??? Who the….???” It was so hilarious! Turns out he is one of the retired staff who has some kind of special housing from the company and an all-access pass to pig out at the canteen. I can always spot him in there from a mile away because with his white hair he too sticks out like a sore thumb. Just a few months ago, I sat near him and he asked me where I was from and so on. I was glad to finally solve that mystery that I’m sure what plaguing him every time he saw me. From now on, if I match his gaze, I give him a nod or wave hello.
So the moral of the story is: I love old people. They’re so cute in their wrinkly, chilled out, dog-loving ways. If ever approached by one, you just need to know how to say two things: where you’re from and what the hell you’re doing here. That usually satisfies their curiosity. Just don’t mess with them on public transport or you’ll get a good elbow to the back.
Like many countries in this crazy mixed-up world of ours, China’s old folks seem to get mad respect. They are probably the only people in Beijing whom others will give up a seat on the metro for, and that says a lot.
But don’t get me wrong, they know how to give you a good glare that says, “Look at me bitches, I’m old! Give me a damn seat!” They also know the power of a good shove when it’s necessary on public transportation. They’re a lot stronger than they look!
The latest Chinese census from 2010 says more people are growing old in China. This is evidenced by the fact that everywhere I go, there’s an old man or woman walking quietly or just chilling out on the nearest stoop. In the past I’ve written about the dancing grannies at night, people who love their doggies, and the goings-on at my local park like ballroom dancing. Well in all these cases one thing remains consistent -– there is always an old person in the picture.
Here in China there is no Florida or Arizona to retire to, so people tend to stay put and rely on their kid or a small pension to help them through their golden years. And they don’t have 250 TV channels of entertainment to choose from like my 90-something grandmother has back home, so most people are outside in the warmer months just hanging out. Plus, in a society obsessed with mind/body health, it wouldn’t surprise me if they believed too much TV contributes to lots of health hazards…something we Americans may not have caught on to just yet.
I often find myself smiling when I see old people and the things they do. Just yesterday I spotted an older guy who cracked me up. It was about 4 in the afternoon and he was crossing the main road near my home – in his pajamas! This isn’t something you see very often, except if you’re hanging out in a hutong (the old-skool style buildings where the real Beijingers live), because they use shared public toilets to pee (no plumbing at home) and it’s not uncommon to see people in their jammies heading to the toilet – but that’s usually at night!
No, this guy yesterday was just crossing the street in the middle of the day in his pajamas. What does he care? Though part of me wonders if he didn’t just think he was cleverly coordinated in his clothing choice and didn’t know he was wearing pajamas, because over here that is entirely possible. I put it in the same category as jogging on a treadmill in a business suit.
As I mentioned before, old folks like to treat their dogs like the baby they once had earlier in life. So, in their later years, a lot of them like to chill out with their pets. There’s one guy who I see every Saturday morning near a local McDonald’s. He’s not really doing anything, just stands there smoking a cigarette while his little fluffy pup lays down on the ground and chills out. They’re like two peas in a pod without a care in the world. I love this guy.
Then there are the folks who want to make an easy buck in retirement. Just because they stopped working a 9-5 doesn’t mean they’re done for good. Some of them set up shop on the streets to sell random jewelry or a few books they put on display on a little sheet on the ground. The other day I saw an old man perched on a little stool selling shoe insoles. (Check out his hot pink socks by the way… oh baby.) But for some reason I can’t figure out, insoles are very popular street items. Then again, if I recall the rank conditions of last summer, our shoes really do need a break from excessive foot sweat.
Then there are the groups of men or women who sit out along the sidewalk to chat and watch the world go by. They’re so cute!
When I see these folks, I can just imagine what they’re saying to each other. So I dreamed up a conversation for them, which goes something like this:
“Hey, Zhang Fang! How’s it going?”
“Hi Zhen Yang. My hemorrhoids are killing me.”
“Oh yeah, I had ‘roids a few years ago, but I got some good meds for it. I might still have that cream at home, which you have to apply directly to your ass. It tingles at first. You want to borrow it? It smells like shit – no pun intended, ha ha! – but it works!”
“Sure, that would be great. Hey, how’s your grandson?”
“Oh he’s great. I took him over to Ritan Park the other day. He took a huge crap on the lawn but it wasn’t messy. He’s definitely over his diarrhea problem – I think the lotus root helped.”
“That’s good to hear. Hey, you up for some mahjongg later?”
“Nah, I’m playing cards with Zhang Min.”
“Biatch.”
Believe it or not, even though Beijing is a massive capital city, the locals still aren’t used to seeing a foreigner out and about, especially a blond. Sometimes when I’m out and about, an old person will strike up a small conversation with me. This happened a few weeks back, when a nice old lady spotted me nearby and seemed intrigued by what I was doing in China. She asked me the usual line of questions – where am I from? Do I teach English or work? Luckily I understood what she was saying in Chinese. But the funny thing about this lady is she had a very thick Beijing accent, which is characterized by a lot of “R” sounds in her speech. To my ear it sounded like this: “Zunmuh yarrr? Arrarrrrar? Rar! Rararrrrararrr!” Maybe this isn’t funny to you, but imagine talking to a cute old southern American lady who has a deep drawl. Cute, no? I re-enacted this Beijing lady’s accent for a fellow expat and we had a bit of a chuckle, because we all know how humorous this local accent can be.
Then there’s the cute old man at work who was shocked and awed when I made my debut at the company canteen. One of the perks of my job is a free lunch at the staff lunchroom where you eat some pretty decent food from a buffet. On one of my first days at work, I was the only foreigner having lunch in a sea of Chinese people. Naturally, I stuck out like a sore thumb because no foreigners ever ate in there before. I was looking around the room where a few hundred people were sitting and eating, when I caught a curious gaze from an old man.
He had to be at least 75 and when he spotted me he sat up, did a double-take, and looked at me with wide eyes and big bushy white raised eyebrows. It was like he was saying, “What the…??? Who the….???” It was so hilarious! Turns out he is one of the retired staff who has some kind of special housing from the company and an all-access pass to pig out at the canteen. I can always spot him in there from a mile away because with his white hair he too sticks out like a sore thumb. Just a few months ago, I sat near him and he asked me where I was from and so on. I was glad to finally solve that mystery that I’m sure what plaguing him every time he saw me. From now on, if I match his gaze, I give him a nod or wave hello.
So the moral of the story is: I love old people. They’re so cute in their wrinkly, chilled out, dog-loving ways. If ever approached by one, you just need to know how to say two things: where you’re from and what the hell you’re doing here. That usually satisfies their curiosity. Just don’t mess with them on public transport or you’ll get a good elbow to the back.
2011年5月15日星期日
YRC Worldwide
Westmoreland Coal Company (NASDAQ:WLB) went up 0.16%, to close at $18.34 and its overall traded volume was 44,234.00 shares in the last trading session. WLB opened at $18.40 and is trading within the range of $18.00-$18.46. The 52-week range of the stock is $7.38 – $19.28. WLB’s market capitalization is $241.27M and it has 13.16M outstanding shares.Westmoreland Coal Company (Westmoreland) is an energy company. The Company’s operations include five surface coal mines in Montana, North Dakota and Texas and two coal-fired power generating units with a total capacity of 230 megawatts in North Carolina. During the year ended December 31, 2009, it sold 24.3 million tons of coal. The Company operates in two segments: coal and power. The Company’s coal segment is focused on coal markets. Its two-thirds of produced coal is non-compliance sub-bituminous coal from the Northern Powder River Basin, while the remaining third is lignite. The Company owns two coal-fired power-generating units in Weldon, North Carolina with a total capacity of 230 megawatts.
YRC Worldwide Inc. (NASDAQ:YRCW) went up 0.82%, to close at $1.23 and its overall traded volume was 839,130.00 shares in the last trading session. YRCW shares were trading within the range of $1.20-$1.26 while its opening price was $1.26. The stock has a 52 week range of $1.19 – $12.12. YRCW’s market capitalization is $58.76M and it has 47.77M outstanding shares.YRC Worldwide Inc. (YRC Worldwide) is a holding company. YRC Worldwide, through wholly owned operating subsidiaries offers its customers a range of transportation services. These services include global, national and regional transportation, as well as logistics. Its operating subsidiaries include YRC National Transportation, which is a reporting unit for the transportation service providers focused on business opportunities in the regional national and international markets; YRC Regional Transportation is the reporting unit for the transportation service providers focused on business opportunities in the regional markets; YRC Logistics plans and coordinates the movement of goods worldwide to provide customers a single source for logistics management solutions, and YRC Truckload (Truckload) reflects the results of Glen Moore, a provider of truckload services throughout the United States.
YRC Worldwide Inc. (NASDAQ:YRCW) went up 0.82%, to close at $1.23 and its overall traded volume was 839,130.00 shares in the last trading session. YRCW shares were trading within the range of $1.20-$1.26 while its opening price was $1.26. The stock has a 52 week range of $1.19 – $12.12. YRCW’s market capitalization is $58.76M and it has 47.77M outstanding shares.YRC Worldwide Inc. (YRC Worldwide) is a holding company. YRC Worldwide, through wholly owned operating subsidiaries offers its customers a range of transportation services. These services include global, national and regional transportation, as well as logistics. Its operating subsidiaries include YRC National Transportation, which is a reporting unit for the transportation service providers focused on business opportunities in the regional national and international markets; YRC Regional Transportation is the reporting unit for the transportation service providers focused on business opportunities in the regional markets; YRC Logistics plans and coordinates the movement of goods worldwide to provide customers a single source for logistics management solutions, and YRC Truckload (Truckload) reflects the results of Glen Moore, a provider of truckload services throughout the United States.
Asia fails to stop illegal bear bile trade
Asian countries are failing to stem the illegal cross-border trade of bear bile amid growing demand for folk remedies harvested from the live animals.
The trafficking of bile-based traditional medicine is a key threat to the region's bears, especially Asiatic black bears whose numbers in the wild have declined to as few as 25,000 in recent years, partly because of poaching, TRAFFIC Southeast Asia said in a new report.
Digestive juice drained from the gall bladders of live bears has been used for centuries across Asia to treat ailments ranging from sore throats and muscle aches to epilepsy and hemorrhoids.
"The demand for bile is one of the greatest drivers behind (the illegal bear parts) trade and must be reduced if bear conservation efforts are to succeed," said TRAFFIC official Kaitlyn-Elizabeth Foley.
Researchers found bile pills, powders and ointments in more than 50 percent of traditional medicine shops they visited in mainland China, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Myanmar and Vietnam over the past year, TRAFFIC's report said.
More than 30 percent of such businesses in Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Thailand also sold those products, it said. Other countries, such as Cambodia, Laos and Singapore, had stores selling them but to a lesser extent.
All the territories had a significant amount of bile products that the stores claimed originated from other countries, especially China, TRAFFIC said.
The Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species forbids the cross-border trade of bear bile.
In other signs of smuggling, Hong Kong's shops sold bile pills believed to be from Japan, South Korea had products from Russian wild bears and Myanmar had whole bear gall bladders from Laos, the report said.
Bile products come from farms in various nations where thousands of captive bears are legally used for bile extraction. Those products are supposed to be sold only in the country of origin.
TRAFFIC urged Asian authorities to step up enforcement by shutting down medicine outlets that offer bear parts from other nations. It also called for strong penalties against people caught illegally collecting or transporting bear parts.
Over the years, wildlife activists have also voiced concerns that bile collection can cause agony and slow death for bears. Legal methods of bile extraction involve making a permanent hole in a bear's abdomen, but some farms are believed to use more painful measures such as illegally inserting metal catheters and rubber tubes into the bears.
Many farms also do not have captive breeding programs, raising fears that they rely on bears snatched from the wild.
The trafficking of bile-based traditional medicine is a key threat to the region's bears, especially Asiatic black bears whose numbers in the wild have declined to as few as 25,000 in recent years, partly because of poaching, TRAFFIC Southeast Asia said in a new report.
Digestive juice drained from the gall bladders of live bears has been used for centuries across Asia to treat ailments ranging from sore throats and muscle aches to epilepsy and hemorrhoids.
"The demand for bile is one of the greatest drivers behind (the illegal bear parts) trade and must be reduced if bear conservation efforts are to succeed," said TRAFFIC official Kaitlyn-Elizabeth Foley.
Researchers found bile pills, powders and ointments in more than 50 percent of traditional medicine shops they visited in mainland China, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Myanmar and Vietnam over the past year, TRAFFIC's report said.
More than 30 percent of such businesses in Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Thailand also sold those products, it said. Other countries, such as Cambodia, Laos and Singapore, had stores selling them but to a lesser extent.
All the territories had a significant amount of bile products that the stores claimed originated from other countries, especially China, TRAFFIC said.
The Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species forbids the cross-border trade of bear bile.
In other signs of smuggling, Hong Kong's shops sold bile pills believed to be from Japan, South Korea had products from Russian wild bears and Myanmar had whole bear gall bladders from Laos, the report said.
Bile products come from farms in various nations where thousands of captive bears are legally used for bile extraction. Those products are supposed to be sold only in the country of origin.
TRAFFIC urged Asian authorities to step up enforcement by shutting down medicine outlets that offer bear parts from other nations. It also called for strong penalties against people caught illegally collecting or transporting bear parts.
Over the years, wildlife activists have also voiced concerns that bile collection can cause agony and slow death for bears. Legal methods of bile extraction involve making a permanent hole in a bear's abdomen, but some farms are believed to use more painful measures such as illegally inserting metal catheters and rubber tubes into the bears.
Many farms also do not have captive breeding programs, raising fears that they rely on bears snatched from the wild.
2011年5月10日星期二
Waismann Method Medical Director Warns of Opioid-Induced Gastrointestinal Damage
Dr. Clifford A. Bernstein, co-medical director of The Waismann Method, an advanced procedure for rapid opiate detoxification under deep sedation, is warning Americans of the negative side effects to gastrointestinal health from sustained use of opioids. If used for a prolonged period of time, opioids are proven to cause significant damage to the gastrointestinal tract, including constipation, nausea, vomiting, spasms, formation of hard and dry stool, diverticulitis, and in severe cases colon rupture.
“Opioid medications commonly cause impaired gastrointestinal function after long-term use, which leads to a host of other uncomfortable and potentially life threatening issues,” said Bernstein. “Many people are unaware that opiate use can actually trigger these symptoms, and we believe it’s important for users, patients, and anyone close to them to be well-educated about these specific hazards of long-term use.”
According to Dr. Bernstein, people treated with opioids such as OxyContin, Percocet, and Vicodin, as well as maintenance therapies like methadone or Suboxone (both medications used to treat opioid addiction) for prolonged periods of time risk developing these physical issues. Most conditions stem from sluggish gastrointestinal function and constipation, which can cause users to strain during bowel movements, leading to painful hemorrhoids. Diverticulitis, an infection in the large intestines marked by the formation of pouches (diverticula) on the outside of the colon, can also occur from long-term use of these medications. This condition frequently causes abdominal pain, fever and bloating. If it progresses, diverticulitis can eventually cause colon rupture.
The Waismann Method of Opiate Detoxification is a pioneering medical procedure, which provides a safe and humane treatment for opiate dependency. Patients in the Waismann program are supervised closely in a hospital setting to maximize success and safety. All Waismann Method doctors are board certified in anesthesiology and pain management, and treatment is performed in the Intensive Care Unit of a hospital. Following detoxification, patients are transferred to Domus Retreat for mental and physical stabilization while under professional care.
“Opioid medications commonly cause impaired gastrointestinal function after long-term use, which leads to a host of other uncomfortable and potentially life threatening issues,” said Bernstein. “Many people are unaware that opiate use can actually trigger these symptoms, and we believe it’s important for users, patients, and anyone close to them to be well-educated about these specific hazards of long-term use.”
According to Dr. Bernstein, people treated with opioids such as OxyContin, Percocet, and Vicodin, as well as maintenance therapies like methadone or Suboxone (both medications used to treat opioid addiction) for prolonged periods of time risk developing these physical issues. Most conditions stem from sluggish gastrointestinal function and constipation, which can cause users to strain during bowel movements, leading to painful hemorrhoids. Diverticulitis, an infection in the large intestines marked by the formation of pouches (diverticula) on the outside of the colon, can also occur from long-term use of these medications. This condition frequently causes abdominal pain, fever and bloating. If it progresses, diverticulitis can eventually cause colon rupture.
The Waismann Method of Opiate Detoxification is a pioneering medical procedure, which provides a safe and humane treatment for opiate dependency. Patients in the Waismann program are supervised closely in a hospital setting to maximize success and safety. All Waismann Method doctors are board certified in anesthesiology and pain management, and treatment is performed in the Intensive Care Unit of a hospital. Following detoxification, patients are transferred to Domus Retreat for mental and physical stabilization while under professional care.
2011年5月8日星期日
I Am Pregnant. Please Shut Up: An Etiquette Lesson
I was at a friend's birthday party when it happened again. Word had got out that I was pregnant, and it didn't take long for one of the guests, a woman I had only met twice in my life, to come barreling across the room, eyes shining with the unwavering focus of someone about to cut a line of cocaine.
I have seen this look a lot lately. It is the same expression that forms in one pair of crazy eyes after another whenever someone -- usually a woman -- catches wind of my baby bump.
"Here's what they don't tell you," she said by way of congratulations. "You will be split apart from your vagina to your anus." Then she began a delightful discourse on hemorrhoids.
Over the past six months or so, I've been told all sorts of things "they don't tell you." Like what will happen to my boobs, which will either disappear entirely, or shapeshift into two deflated bread bags. Or how, according to one friend, "they don't let you leave the hospital until you poop." And don't forget the ripped stitches that will inevitably happen on that maiden bathroom voyage.
When I'm not hearing about the wreckage about to befall my body, I'm listening to delivery stories that rival the gore fest of Alien. "I still can't get over the image of seeing blood on my doctor's eyeglasses," whispered one friend in that voice normally heard only in tents, with a flashlight under the chin, in front of a troop of Girl Scouts.
Why, I wonder, do people, do friends, feel so compelled to tell me such horror stories? At 13 weeks I heard all the miscarriage stories (having suffered one myself in the past, I already know that brand of agony firsthand) and now, at 25 weeks, I'm treated to stories that are even more heartbreaking. Who knew I had so many friends within Six-Degrees-of-Stillborn Separation?
"I want to tell you my amnio story," says the mother of a little boy. It's how most of these stories begin.
"Please don't tell me anything bad," I say. Which is how most of my responses begin. "I will get up and leave the room."
But she tells me anyway -- even with my hand held up like a stop sign the entire time.
As a born-and-bred worrywart, I've already invented and told all these stories to myself. I'm sure most pregnant women do, at one point or another. There's a lot that can go wrong during those nine months. And in all the months that accompany a child into adulthood.
And I do understand the need to boast a bit by sharing their delivery room war stories. I must be a strong woman, they are trying to say, to survive something like this. Perhaps people think they are doing me a favor by preparing me for what's to come, like it's some sort of duty to tell me about gestational diabetes and premature labor. Maybe this is akin to initiation into a club, the Masonic Lodge of Mommies.
Whatever the underlying reason is, please, keep your harrowing baby stories on the shelf. If you see me and my belly coming down the street, stick to more accepted forms of communication, like a hug or sincere displays of joy. Words like "How wonderful," work well, too.
Of course I realize as soon as I give birth, I'll have to steel myself for a whole new batch of terror. My mother-in-law is already lining up her story about breastfeeding.
I have seen this look a lot lately. It is the same expression that forms in one pair of crazy eyes after another whenever someone -- usually a woman -- catches wind of my baby bump.
"Here's what they don't tell you," she said by way of congratulations. "You will be split apart from your vagina to your anus." Then she began a delightful discourse on hemorrhoids.
Over the past six months or so, I've been told all sorts of things "they don't tell you." Like what will happen to my boobs, which will either disappear entirely, or shapeshift into two deflated bread bags. Or how, according to one friend, "they don't let you leave the hospital until you poop." And don't forget the ripped stitches that will inevitably happen on that maiden bathroom voyage.
When I'm not hearing about the wreckage about to befall my body, I'm listening to delivery stories that rival the gore fest of Alien. "I still can't get over the image of seeing blood on my doctor's eyeglasses," whispered one friend in that voice normally heard only in tents, with a flashlight under the chin, in front of a troop of Girl Scouts.
Why, I wonder, do people, do friends, feel so compelled to tell me such horror stories? At 13 weeks I heard all the miscarriage stories (having suffered one myself in the past, I already know that brand of agony firsthand) and now, at 25 weeks, I'm treated to stories that are even more heartbreaking. Who knew I had so many friends within Six-Degrees-of-Stillborn Separation?
"I want to tell you my amnio story," says the mother of a little boy. It's how most of these stories begin.
"Please don't tell me anything bad," I say. Which is how most of my responses begin. "I will get up and leave the room."
But she tells me anyway -- even with my hand held up like a stop sign the entire time.
As a born-and-bred worrywart, I've already invented and told all these stories to myself. I'm sure most pregnant women do, at one point or another. There's a lot that can go wrong during those nine months. And in all the months that accompany a child into adulthood.
And I do understand the need to boast a bit by sharing their delivery room war stories. I must be a strong woman, they are trying to say, to survive something like this. Perhaps people think they are doing me a favor by preparing me for what's to come, like it's some sort of duty to tell me about gestational diabetes and premature labor. Maybe this is akin to initiation into a club, the Masonic Lodge of Mommies.
Whatever the underlying reason is, please, keep your harrowing baby stories on the shelf. If you see me and my belly coming down the street, stick to more accepted forms of communication, like a hug or sincere displays of joy. Words like "How wonderful," work well, too.
Of course I realize as soon as I give birth, I'll have to steel myself for a whole new batch of terror. My mother-in-law is already lining up her story about breastfeeding.
Book about caffeine will keep you awake
Trans fats are out. Smoking is definitely out. Is caffeine next? You may be convinced after reading Caffeine Makes Me Bleed (And How It Can Poison You, Too!) by Susan Lynn, a resident of Diamond in Portage County.
To Lynn, caffeine is the Dark Master. Most of the book is written as a memoir, beginning with her childhood in Lake Milton, where her autoworker father bought her chocolate candy and the whole family enjoyed cola drinks with their meals.
After Lynn's marriage, she studied to be a nurse, but was badly injured in a car accident in which her classmate, who was driving, was killed. This ended nursing school for her, and was the beginning of chronic health problems.
Lynn found a job as an executive assistant in the highly competitive and highly caffeinated field of commercial construction. This is the best portion of the book, as Lynn describes her high-stress work, including satisfying the boss's persnickety wife, who designed a template for Lynn to cut the paper she was to use to wrap hundreds of Christmas hams for employee gifts — which she then had to alphabetize by recipient.
Lynn's job grows increasingly stressful even before she gives birth to a premature son, and then her boss makes her the firm's director of safety, a huge responsibility, without decreasing any of her other duties. She began using her cola drinks to wash down antacids, and begins seeing blood in the bathroom; a doctor assures her it's just hemorrhoids.
After her personal story comes to an end, the book turns into an insistent diatribe, which carries on well after she has made her point. Lynn's book may not persuade you to give up caffeine, but she does tell her story well.
As ''carpe diem'' means ''seize the day,'' ''carpe viam'' means ''seize the road,'' and that is what the characters in Michael J. Keyser's novel Carpe Viam: A Time to Live do. In this late-1960s-set story of a skirt-chasing businessman, Jim Hastings comes to work for a California aluminum company and soon begins an affair with his boss's wife (they have an open marriage, but don't reveal the identities of their lovers).
When Jim is assigned to a Northern California territory and settles in San Francisco, his lady friend and her husband recommit to monogamy, and Jim meets Rhonda, a paralegal who later becomes the company's lawyer and Jim's wife. Jim and Rhonda seize the road before them with travel, children and careers.
Keyser's preface notes that his novel ''contains no blasphemy,'' but that doesn't mean it's not risque: There's a lot of talk about sex — and about aluminum, Keyser's former business.
To Lynn, caffeine is the Dark Master. Most of the book is written as a memoir, beginning with her childhood in Lake Milton, where her autoworker father bought her chocolate candy and the whole family enjoyed cola drinks with their meals.
After Lynn's marriage, she studied to be a nurse, but was badly injured in a car accident in which her classmate, who was driving, was killed. This ended nursing school for her, and was the beginning of chronic health problems.
Lynn found a job as an executive assistant in the highly competitive and highly caffeinated field of commercial construction. This is the best portion of the book, as Lynn describes her high-stress work, including satisfying the boss's persnickety wife, who designed a template for Lynn to cut the paper she was to use to wrap hundreds of Christmas hams for employee gifts — which she then had to alphabetize by recipient.
Lynn's job grows increasingly stressful even before she gives birth to a premature son, and then her boss makes her the firm's director of safety, a huge responsibility, without decreasing any of her other duties. She began using her cola drinks to wash down antacids, and begins seeing blood in the bathroom; a doctor assures her it's just hemorrhoids.
After her personal story comes to an end, the book turns into an insistent diatribe, which carries on well after she has made her point. Lynn's book may not persuade you to give up caffeine, but she does tell her story well.
As ''carpe diem'' means ''seize the day,'' ''carpe viam'' means ''seize the road,'' and that is what the characters in Michael J. Keyser's novel Carpe Viam: A Time to Live do. In this late-1960s-set story of a skirt-chasing businessman, Jim Hastings comes to work for a California aluminum company and soon begins an affair with his boss's wife (they have an open marriage, but don't reveal the identities of their lovers).
When Jim is assigned to a Northern California territory and settles in San Francisco, his lady friend and her husband recommit to monogamy, and Jim meets Rhonda, a paralegal who later becomes the company's lawyer and Jim's wife. Jim and Rhonda seize the road before them with travel, children and careers.
Keyser's preface notes that his novel ''contains no blasphemy,'' but that doesn't mean it's not risque: There's a lot of talk about sex — and about aluminum, Keyser's former business.
2011年5月4日星期三
Though perhaps not horror per se
Dysfunctional is the new normal. There’s no such thing as a “normal” family anymore. Every family unit has its unique quirks and habits which may seem odd to an outside observer. Today’s “normal” family unit boasts more black sheep than white per generation, each generation diagnosed with ever more intricate psychological maladies, most of which can be blamed on the one that came before it. Only when someone claims to have come from a “totally normal family” should you worry about said someone’s mental health. Normal is horrifying, ripe with possibilities. Serial killers come from “normal” families. Normal people are walking time bombs, just waiting for the most normal moment in their banal existence to erupt into batshit insanity.
Case in point: the Dogtooth family is as far from normal as a family can possibly get and still exist in the same dimension as the rest of us. And no, “Dogtooth” is not the actual given surname of the family in question. No names are ever used to identify the mother and father or their three children: the eldest daughter, the son and the younger daughter. Ranging in age from seventeen to twenty one (approximately) the children are physically fit, pure as Ivory soap and blank as slates. Cut off from the rest of the world, the children have spent their entire lives within the family home and surrounding gardens, the high hedge fences which enclose the estate as effective as any high voltage razor wire barrier.
For reasons that are never revealed, Mother and Father have systematically brainwashed their children from day one, convincing them all that the airplanes that fly overhead are toys that will occasionally fall from the sky, that certain words like “sea” and “zombie” have definitions not found in any modern dictionary, and that the outside world can only be entered when one’s dogtooth (upper canines) falls out. The kids never question their parents rules or motives and, in turn, seemingly want for nothing. Even Son’s budding sexual desires are tended to with matter-of-fact efficiency. Father – who works a perfectly normal day job at a perfectly normal factory – pays a female security guard named Christina to drop by the house once a week for Son to fuck.
But with Christina comes a small window into the outside world, a window to which Eldest Daughter is drawn, at first unwittingly. Dissatisfied with Son’s robotic dry humps, Christina begins offering gifts to Eldest Daughter – a sparkly headband, hair gel, etc. – in exchange for cunningulus. Eldest Daughter is truly ignorant about sex and does not understand what she’s being asked to do, but she soon figures out that it’s worth more than a couple of $1 items in a beauty supply bargain bin. She demands that Christina hand over the VHS tapes in her bag, or else she’s going to tell Father about all the time she’s spent licking Christina’s “keyboard.” Reluctantly, Christina hands over her rented copies of Rocky and Jaws, both of which have a profound effect upon Eldest Daughter, who begins acting out scenes from both films and incorporating their dialogue into her everyday conversations. Alarmed by her behavior, Father takes drastic measures to correct the “bad influences” that Christina has inflicted upon his child, even going so far as to dismiss Christina from her sexual activities and offer Son his own sister as a substitution. But Eldest Daughter has had enough. She’s ready to lose her dogtooth and join the outside world, even if she has to force the process.
It was difficult not to draw comparisons between this film and the real life case of Josef Fritzi, the Austrian whackjob who kept his own daughter and their inbred children prisoner in a windowless basement for a quarter of a century. Granted, the Dogtooth family has a slightly more idyllic setting, but it’s like slapping Happy Face masks over the cast of a snuff film: there just ain’t no prettying up abuse.
With its stark white color scheme, antiseptic sets and lack of a streaming soundtrack, Dogtooth is like watching a documentary, or perhaps the worlds most twisted educational film: “How to Skull Fuck Your Family Into Irreversible Psychosis” for example. The reasons why this is happening are never offered. The parents are undoubtedly a team, working together to keep their children stunted and dependent through methods they know would be frowned upon by the rest of society. Is it possible that, considering their nonchalant attitude towards incest, that they themselves are brother and sister? It’s feasible, but not really important in the end. The simple fact of the matter is that they are outwardly normal (there’s that word again) and quite capable of functioning in the world they have declared off limits to their children. They could be your neighbors, your coworkers, your distant cousins. And if they were to visit your house, how sick and twisted would they find your daily routine?
Dogtooth is so deeply disturbing and horrifyingly warped that it’s ultimately very funny as well, if you like your humor blacker than the ace of spades, that is. Listening to Father announce that Mother will soon “give birth to two children and a dog” is only slightly less disconcerting than hearing Mother provide a new definition for the word “pussy” after one of the girls discovers a porno tape that Father has left lying carelessly out in the open. That no one bats an eye or cracks a grin during such moments makes it all the more amusing and far more upsetting than listening to your half senile grandaddy discussing his hemorrhoids at the annual family dinner.
Though perhaps not horror per se, Dogtooth is still undeniably horrific, a jarring tale of family dynamics gone wrong that will knock you right into WTF?! world for the entirety of its runtime. Think your family is fucked up? Sure, we all do. But if this crazy shit doesn’t put your own mediocre upbringing into perspective, then you were either raised by serial killers or you need to consider switching from Zoloft to Thorazine. Looking into the benefits of electroshock therapy might not be totally unwarranted either. Hell, maybe we should reinstate the transorbital lobotomy. It just might be the only thing that can save the Dogtooth children.
Case in point: the Dogtooth family is as far from normal as a family can possibly get and still exist in the same dimension as the rest of us. And no, “Dogtooth” is not the actual given surname of the family in question. No names are ever used to identify the mother and father or their three children: the eldest daughter, the son and the younger daughter. Ranging in age from seventeen to twenty one (approximately) the children are physically fit, pure as Ivory soap and blank as slates. Cut off from the rest of the world, the children have spent their entire lives within the family home and surrounding gardens, the high hedge fences which enclose the estate as effective as any high voltage razor wire barrier.
For reasons that are never revealed, Mother and Father have systematically brainwashed their children from day one, convincing them all that the airplanes that fly overhead are toys that will occasionally fall from the sky, that certain words like “sea” and “zombie” have definitions not found in any modern dictionary, and that the outside world can only be entered when one’s dogtooth (upper canines) falls out. The kids never question their parents rules or motives and, in turn, seemingly want for nothing. Even Son’s budding sexual desires are tended to with matter-of-fact efficiency. Father – who works a perfectly normal day job at a perfectly normal factory – pays a female security guard named Christina to drop by the house once a week for Son to fuck.
But with Christina comes a small window into the outside world, a window to which Eldest Daughter is drawn, at first unwittingly. Dissatisfied with Son’s robotic dry humps, Christina begins offering gifts to Eldest Daughter – a sparkly headband, hair gel, etc. – in exchange for cunningulus. Eldest Daughter is truly ignorant about sex and does not understand what she’s being asked to do, but she soon figures out that it’s worth more than a couple of $1 items in a beauty supply bargain bin. She demands that Christina hand over the VHS tapes in her bag, or else she’s going to tell Father about all the time she’s spent licking Christina’s “keyboard.” Reluctantly, Christina hands over her rented copies of Rocky and Jaws, both of which have a profound effect upon Eldest Daughter, who begins acting out scenes from both films and incorporating their dialogue into her everyday conversations. Alarmed by her behavior, Father takes drastic measures to correct the “bad influences” that Christina has inflicted upon his child, even going so far as to dismiss Christina from her sexual activities and offer Son his own sister as a substitution. But Eldest Daughter has had enough. She’s ready to lose her dogtooth and join the outside world, even if she has to force the process.
It was difficult not to draw comparisons between this film and the real life case of Josef Fritzi, the Austrian whackjob who kept his own daughter and their inbred children prisoner in a windowless basement for a quarter of a century. Granted, the Dogtooth family has a slightly more idyllic setting, but it’s like slapping Happy Face masks over the cast of a snuff film: there just ain’t no prettying up abuse.
With its stark white color scheme, antiseptic sets and lack of a streaming soundtrack, Dogtooth is like watching a documentary, or perhaps the worlds most twisted educational film: “How to Skull Fuck Your Family Into Irreversible Psychosis” for example. The reasons why this is happening are never offered. The parents are undoubtedly a team, working together to keep their children stunted and dependent through methods they know would be frowned upon by the rest of society. Is it possible that, considering their nonchalant attitude towards incest, that they themselves are brother and sister? It’s feasible, but not really important in the end. The simple fact of the matter is that they are outwardly normal (there’s that word again) and quite capable of functioning in the world they have declared off limits to their children. They could be your neighbors, your coworkers, your distant cousins. And if they were to visit your house, how sick and twisted would they find your daily routine?
Dogtooth is so deeply disturbing and horrifyingly warped that it’s ultimately very funny as well, if you like your humor blacker than the ace of spades, that is. Listening to Father announce that Mother will soon “give birth to two children and a dog” is only slightly less disconcerting than hearing Mother provide a new definition for the word “pussy” after one of the girls discovers a porno tape that Father has left lying carelessly out in the open. That no one bats an eye or cracks a grin during such moments makes it all the more amusing and far more upsetting than listening to your half senile grandaddy discussing his hemorrhoids at the annual family dinner.
Though perhaps not horror per se, Dogtooth is still undeniably horrific, a jarring tale of family dynamics gone wrong that will knock you right into WTF?! world for the entirety of its runtime. Think your family is fucked up? Sure, we all do. But if this crazy shit doesn’t put your own mediocre upbringing into perspective, then you were either raised by serial killers or you need to consider switching from Zoloft to Thorazine. Looking into the benefits of electroshock therapy might not be totally unwarranted either. Hell, maybe we should reinstate the transorbital lobotomy. It just might be the only thing that can save the Dogtooth children.
2011年5月2日星期一
Procedure cuts pain, speeds recovery for hemorrhoid sufferers
Protruding blood vessels from the anus, or hemorrhoids, can cause incredible discomfort for those who suffer from them, and standard procedures to treat them are often painful with long recovery times.
But a new surgical option offered by a Cary doctor not only relieves hemorrhoid pain, it cures the problem.
Six blood vessels supply blood to the anus; when blood gets trapped, a hemorrhoid forms.
"Think about your hemorrhoid as a balloon, a water balloon," said Dr. David Zeiler, a surgeon at Triangle Surgical Associates in Cary. "The faucet is filling the balloon up and that's why you get hemorrhoids."
A new procedure, called THD, inserts a special instrument into the artery that feeds the hemorrhoid and uses sutures to tie a knot in it.
"What the THD procedure does is identify where the faucet is and turns it off," Zeiler said.
A few additional stitches will actually pull the hemorrhoid back inside the anus, eliminating the discomfort, he said.
Zeiler said patients can return to normal activity after only four days, much sooner than is possible after surgery or a stapling procedure called PPH. These had previously been the only options available to hemorrhoid sufferers who needed surgery.
Mild cases of hemorrhoids can often be treated with steroidal creams.
But a new surgical option offered by a Cary doctor not only relieves hemorrhoid pain, it cures the problem.
Six blood vessels supply blood to the anus; when blood gets trapped, a hemorrhoid forms.
"Think about your hemorrhoid as a balloon, a water balloon," said Dr. David Zeiler, a surgeon at Triangle Surgical Associates in Cary. "The faucet is filling the balloon up and that's why you get hemorrhoids."
A new procedure, called THD, inserts a special instrument into the artery that feeds the hemorrhoid and uses sutures to tie a knot in it.
"What the THD procedure does is identify where the faucet is and turns it off," Zeiler said.
A few additional stitches will actually pull the hemorrhoid back inside the anus, eliminating the discomfort, he said.
Zeiler said patients can return to normal activity after only four days, much sooner than is possible after surgery or a stapling procedure called PPH. These had previously been the only options available to hemorrhoid sufferers who needed surgery.
Mild cases of hemorrhoids can often be treated with steroidal creams.
Ventrus Adds Third Treatment Arm of Shorter Treatment Duration to Its Phase III Study of Iferanserin in Hemorrhoids
Ventrus BioSciences, Inc. (Nasdaq:VTUS) announced today that it has added a third treatment arm to its first pivotal Phase III study of Iferanserin (VEN 309), the first prescription product candidate for the treatment of hemorrhoids. The treatment arm has been added based upon a request from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in their response to the company's March 16, 2011 submission of the protocol for the study, made under a Special Protocol Assessment (SPA), and upon a new analysis of a prior Phase IIB study.
In its response, the FDA proposed that the company include an additional one week treatment arm in the pivotal study to evaluate whether patients could be fully treated within 7 days.
"When we analyzed our Phase IIB German study that compared Iferanserin given twice daily for 14 days, with placebo, using these endpoints, we observed that the majority of Iferanserin treated patients started their response by Day 3. This raises the possibility that Iferanserin therapy may require a shorter duration of treatment to show adequate efficacy to stop the bleeding, itching and pain associated with hemorrhoids," said Russell H. Ellison MD, CEO of Ventrus Biosciences. "It's not only good development practice to explore the possibility of a shorter treatment period as proposed by FDA's feedback, but should this regimen prove to be effective, it could be even more acceptable to patients," Dr. Ellison noted.
Following the feedback from the FDA, the double-blinded randomized trial design of the three arms would consist of:
Arm 1: placebo ointment twice daily intra-anally for 2 weeks;
Arm 2: Iferanserin ointment twice daily for 2 weeks; and
Arm 3: Iferanserin ointment twice daily for 1 week followed by placebo ointment twice daily for 1 week.
In its response to the SPA submission the FDA agreed with the definition of the primary and secondary endpoints that had been proposed and with the basic design elements of the study. The primary endpoint for all three arms will therefore be the proportion of patients who have no bleeding from the beginning of the 7th day of treatment to the end of the 14th and last day of treatment as previously announced. The secondary endpoints of pain and itching are similarly defined.
"We will go forward with the FDA proposal and submit a revised protocol under the SPA with the additional treatment arm in a timely fashion. We do not expect that this modification will materially change the timing to report the top line data, which we still expect will occur in the first quarter of 2012, in accordance with previous guidance," said Dr. Ellison.
About Iferanserin (VEN 309)
Iferanserin (VEN 309) is a new chemical entity, or NCE, for the topical treatment of hemorrhoids, which targets a specific serotonin receptor (5HT2A) thought to be important in the disease. The first late phase clinical trial (Phase III) with Iferanserin is expected to start in the summer of 2011 and we expect data to be available in the first quarter of 2012.
About Ventrus
Ventrus is a development stage specialty pharmaceutical company focused on the development of late-stage prescription drugs for gastrointestinal disorders. Our lead product is Iferanserin (VEN 309) for the topical treatment of hemorrhoids. Our additional product candidate portfolio consists of two in-licensed late-stage drugs intended to treat anal fissures (VEN 307) and fecal incontinence (VEN 308). The first Phase III clinical trial with VEN 307 has begun in Europe and we expect data to be available in the second quarter of 2012. These candidates are two molecules that were previously approved and marketed for other indications and that have been formulated into our proprietary topical treatments for these new gastrointestinal indications.
In its response, the FDA proposed that the company include an additional one week treatment arm in the pivotal study to evaluate whether patients could be fully treated within 7 days.
"When we analyzed our Phase IIB German study that compared Iferanserin given twice daily for 14 days, with placebo, using these endpoints, we observed that the majority of Iferanserin treated patients started their response by Day 3. This raises the possibility that Iferanserin therapy may require a shorter duration of treatment to show adequate efficacy to stop the bleeding, itching and pain associated with hemorrhoids," said Russell H. Ellison MD, CEO of Ventrus Biosciences. "It's not only good development practice to explore the possibility of a shorter treatment period as proposed by FDA's feedback, but should this regimen prove to be effective, it could be even more acceptable to patients," Dr. Ellison noted.
Following the feedback from the FDA, the double-blinded randomized trial design of the three arms would consist of:
Arm 1: placebo ointment twice daily intra-anally for 2 weeks;
Arm 2: Iferanserin ointment twice daily for 2 weeks; and
Arm 3: Iferanserin ointment twice daily for 1 week followed by placebo ointment twice daily for 1 week.
In its response to the SPA submission the FDA agreed with the definition of the primary and secondary endpoints that had been proposed and with the basic design elements of the study. The primary endpoint for all three arms will therefore be the proportion of patients who have no bleeding from the beginning of the 7th day of treatment to the end of the 14th and last day of treatment as previously announced. The secondary endpoints of pain and itching are similarly defined.
"We will go forward with the FDA proposal and submit a revised protocol under the SPA with the additional treatment arm in a timely fashion. We do not expect that this modification will materially change the timing to report the top line data, which we still expect will occur in the first quarter of 2012, in accordance with previous guidance," said Dr. Ellison.
About Iferanserin (VEN 309)
Iferanserin (VEN 309) is a new chemical entity, or NCE, for the topical treatment of hemorrhoids, which targets a specific serotonin receptor (5HT2A) thought to be important in the disease. The first late phase clinical trial (Phase III) with Iferanserin is expected to start in the summer of 2011 and we expect data to be available in the first quarter of 2012.
About Ventrus
Ventrus is a development stage specialty pharmaceutical company focused on the development of late-stage prescription drugs for gastrointestinal disorders. Our lead product is Iferanserin (VEN 309) for the topical treatment of hemorrhoids. Our additional product candidate portfolio consists of two in-licensed late-stage drugs intended to treat anal fissures (VEN 307) and fecal incontinence (VEN 308). The first Phase III clinical trial with VEN 307 has begun in Europe and we expect data to be available in the second quarter of 2012. These candidates are two molecules that were previously approved and marketed for other indications and that have been formulated into our proprietary topical treatments for these new gastrointestinal indications.
订阅：
博文 (Atom)